Forever Changes
by lemonjelly
Summary: carby. abby might be pregnant. how original.


Well look, it's my first Carby fanfic. In fact it's my first fanfic. Sounds like a doll. Oh well, it's not very good but please read. Also review if you want, I mean, it's always fun to find out new words for "crap". Enjoy if possible, I have done it on the amazingly original topic of Abby being pregnant. I really need to be more creative. Love LJ xXx Ps. I'm sorry, I realise that they really aren't being themselves in this fanfic; I guess not everything is just what you see. Lyrics taken from "Gabriel" by "Lamb"  
  
"Bless the day, the angel came'  
  
"Hey there" He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She turned, startled and saw his smiling face. "Hi, sorry, I was a bit." She shook her head as if trying to shake off her daydream and wake herself up a bit. "Tired?" He asked. "I guess we've kinda been keeping each other up for a while now. Want some coffee?" He had that cheeky grin on his face and she couldn't help but smile. "Y.no," she turned down his offer, despite the prospect of a much-needed caffeine boost. He shrugged. "Hey, it's your funeral" He smiled, fondly at her. She looked at him in his blue scrubs. All blue. God, she'd seen enough of that colour for one day and she still had two hours of her shift to go. He watched her, deep in thought. She did that cute thing with her mouth that made it look like it was on the brink of smiling. She did that when she was thinking and it always made him want to kiss her, just to see if she'd smile. But then she'd been smiling a lot more recently. Everything was going right in his life. So perfect just the way it was. "Abby! Carter! Stop staring at each other and get your asses in gear!" Weaver's voice interrupted Carter's gaze and rudely awakened Abby from her second daydream of the morning. "We need you both in Trauma Two."  
  
* * *  
  
It'd been so hard keeping her mind on the job and avoiding Carter to the best of her abilities. She ducked into the toilets and locked herself in a cubicle. She closed her eyes and took out the pregnancy test again. Perhaps it wasn't really blue. Maybe it was initially blue and it might be pink now. Damn. Blue. Well maybe it was wrong. 97% accurate. There's still a 3% chance that it's wrong. But then, aren't condoms 97% accurate, too? Maybe higher. So one of them had to be wrong. One of them was in that 3%. "God," she thought. "Please let it be the test. Please let the test be wrong." Useless. A taunting voice echoed in her head. It's useless, hoping and praying, Abby. You're three weeks late, don't forget. Don't forget you're three weeks la- She turned and was sick into the toilet. "Oh my god," she knelt over the toilet, breathing fast. "Oh my god," came the voice of Jing-Mei Chen. "Who is that? Are you ok?" "It's Abby," she croaked. "I'm fine." "That's funny, I don't believe you." Jing-Mei replied. "Abby? Open the door." Abby reluctantly slid the bolt across. "I feel so crap." Abby whimpered and looked up at Jing-Mei from where she sat on the toilet floor. Jing-Mei hugged her. "What brought this on?" She asked, gently. Tears came to Abby's eyes, but she forced them back. She didn't cry, she was stronger than that. But she felt so crap, she wished she wasn't so stubborn so she could break down and sob. Instead, she turned and was sick again into the toilet. Jing-Mei looked at Abby's hand; her white fingers were clamped tightly around something that Jing-Mei had seen all too often. A pregnancy test. "Oh Abby," Jing-Mei whispered. "Is it blue?" Abby nodded. "Is it Carter's?" Abby nodded again. "So then what's the problem, hun?" "Scared. I don't know how he'd take it. I'm not sure he's ready. I'm not sure I'm ready." "Well you're going to have to tell him." "I could have another abortion." Abby suggested, weakly. "Another?" Jing-Mei raised her eyebrows, she hadn't heard about this previous abortion. She looked at Abby, but she already looked so upset, that it seemed unfair to try and get her to tell her about her obviously difficult history. "Abortions aren't something you take lightly, Abby. You're talking about it as though they were headache tablets or something." "I guess I'll tell Carter, then." Abby sighed. "You want to go home, first? You're kinda sick." Jing-Mei asked. "I'll find someone to cover for you." "It's ok. Just morning sickness. Shame about my shift being in the morning." "Ok, then. If you're sure." "I just want to avoid Carter for a bit." "He'll be okay about it." Jing-Mei promised. "Well, I hope so." Abby sighed and rested her head on Jing-Mei's shoulder. Vomiting really took it out of you.  
  
* * *  
  
Thank God her shift was over. It was just past lunchtime (although she was far from hungry) and was already tired. It had been difficult avoiding Carter, keeping her mind on work and fighting her nausea. She was grateful that she had told Jing-Mei, though, she had been great. Comforting her, helping her avoid Carter and being brilliantly subtle about it, too. It was nice to know she had someone who'd stick by her for sure, especially since Jing-Mei had been through this kind of thing before. "Going?" Jing-Mei smiled at her. Abby took off her jacket and hung it up in her locker. "Yeah, thanks for everything, Deb." Abby smiled back and grabbed her bag. "You've been great." "Hey, no problem." Jing-Mei answered. "We look out for each other, right?" "Yeah," Abby closed her locker. "If I have the guts, I'll tell Carter tonight." "Best to get it over with." Jing-Mei nodded. "Best to get what over with?" Carter came into the lounge. All colour drained out of Abby's face. "Erm, we were talking about how Abby had to treat the overweight woman with suspected yeast infection." Jing-Mei answered quickly. "Oh yeah, I heard about that. You have my sympathy." Carter smiled. "Going home then?" "Yeah," Abby nodded, feeling weak with relief. "Hey, are you ok? You look kinda pale." Carter asked concerned. He stroked her cheek, gently. "I'm fine, thanks. I'll see you at home." Abby answered, forcing a smile. Chuny poked her head around the door. "Carter, Chen, Weaver's looking for you." Carter rolled his eyes. "Ok then," Carter replied. "See you, Abby." He kissed her quickly and then was gone. "Thanks so much, Deb," Abby sighed. "I'm glad you think my skills for fast-lying are impressive." Jing-Mei grinned. "You'll be fine." And she went after Carter.  
  
* * * 'I can fly but I want his wings I can shine, even in the darkness but I crave the light that he brings'  
  
Abby sighed again as she ran her packet of cigarettes under the tap. If she was to go through with this, she might as well do it properly. Kids came with so many problems. She turned off the tap and stared at the soggy packet and limp cigarettes. It was the only way. If she simply through them away she knew she'd be rooting through the trash to find and smoke them later. She felt pathetic and stupid because the addiction had such control over her. She never really minded that cigarettes harmed her, but this was different. Now she had a proper motive. If Carter wanted this like Jing-Mei insisted, the cigarettes would have to stop, she didn't want to hurt her own baby. She dropped the sodden packet into the bin and already began to feel like she needed a cigarette. Carter would be home soon, she told herself to take her mind off her nicotine-induced craving. "I got a take away," Carter announced on opening the door. Abby glanced up from the sofa and smiled. He took it into the kitchen and took it out of the bag, throwing the bag in the bin. "Hey!" Abby turned and saw him staring into the bin. "You're giving up? What brought this on? My constant nagging paid off?" There was now putting it off now. "I...er...I." Abby stuttered. "Ok, you don't have to tell me that I was right all along," He grinned cheekily. "I'm always right." How great was this? Not only was his girlfriend the most wonderful, beautiful person ever, she was even starting to listen to him. He always hated seeing her harm herself like that and now she was giving up smoking. Could life get more perfect? "Well, actually, Carter." Abby took a deep breath. "Well, I'm pregnant." She looked at his face. It was frozen in the same smiling position it was in when she began the sentence, except now the smile was going stale and looked almost painful. "You what?" He asked. "Pregnant." Abby repeated. Her heart began to sink horribly. "I.um.I" now it was Carter's turn to stutter. "I really can't take this right now. It's been a long day." Could life get more ruined? He ran his hands through his hair, then he took a deep breath and he was gone, out through the door. It was that unpredictability in him that Abby loved so much. Like when he caught her off-guard with a kiss at work, or when he bought her something to surprise her. But unpredictability could work both ways. Why was the best trait in a person often the worst, too? Abby was in shock. She stared at the place in the kitchen where he had stood. Then it hit her. "Oh god." She broke down into tears, so glad that no-one was there to see her sob hysterically.  
  
* * *  
  
"Want to go rent a movie?" Pratt suggested. Jing-Mei shrugged. "Sure, ok." She agreed. There was a frantic knock on the door. "If that's Leon, I'm going to be so pissed off." Pratt rolled his eyes. "I didn't even know he knew where you lived." Jing-Mei got up and opened the door. "Oh God, Abby?" she looked at Abby standing forlornly on her doorstep wrapped in her coat, tears running down her face. Jing-Mei ushered her in. "Christ, what happened?" Pratt asked as he caught sight of Abby. Abby looked up. "Oh, sorry, Deb. I'll go." Abby murmured and turned to leave. "Hang on, you're not going anywhere," Jing-Mei told her. "Sit down, tell me what happened." Abby sat down and explained what had happened, between sniffs. "Carter did that?" Pratt asked when Abby had finished. She nodded. "I thought I knew him, y'know?" Abby shook her head, sadly. "And now he's gone?" Pratt checked. Abby opened her mouth to reply but she sensed that if she spoke, she'd convulse into sobs again, so she simply nodded. "Son of a." Pratt frowned and he headed for the door. "Where are you going?" Jing-Mei asked. "Get Carter." Pratt replied simply. "I don't know what he was thinking, but he was really out of order. I'll find him for you, Abby." "That's nice of you, Pratt, but he could be anywhere in Chicago." Abby sighed. "I'll find him." Pratt repeated and grabbed his coat. "Ok, but don't hurt him." Abby added. Pratt smiled and left. "I'm sure he'd stick by you no matter what." Abby told Jing-Mei "You think?" Jing-Mei raised her eyebrows. "Well I thought Carter would, but I guess I was wrong." Abby looked the floor as tears rolled down her face again. She had never cried this much in her life and she never thought it would be over Carter. She never thought Carter would ever do something that could hurt her so much. "Oh Abby," Jing-Mei murmured and hugged her as she wept onto Jing-Mei's shoulder. "I can't believe him."  
  
* * *  
  
Pratt, it seemed, had more determination and faith than sense. Carter could be anywhere, but Pratt was convinced he could find him. Sometimes, however, faith works better than common sense and Pratt found him, sitting by the river, in the cold, dark, Chicago winter night. Oddly enough, Carter didn't feel surprised when Pratt came and sat on the bench next to him. They sat in silence for a while. "Ever seen Abby crying?" Pratt asked him, breaking the silence. Carter looked up at him and shook his head, he could guess what was coming, but he couldn't prepare himself for it. "Well if you get round to Deb's soon, you might catch it." Carter flinched at the thought of Abby crying. "She's strong, Pratt." "That doesn't mean you can mess her around." "It was going so well. Life, work, everything," "Wake up, Carter. Nothing ever stays the same." "But why couldn't it just last a bit longer? I had my life sorted out. I had an amazing girlfriend, a great job and brilliant friends." "Hold up, 'amazing girlfriend'? Say her name, Carter. Abby. She's still the same person. You still have your job, you still have your friends, and now you could have a family. Isn't that better?" "But everything is different." "So what? It'll be more damn different if you go. You lose Abby, you lose your friends. Are you really so naïve as to think that you can leave Abby to cope with this alone and still go to work and have everyone treat you with a respect you don't deserve?" "I." "No, shut up and listen, Carter. I don't know who you think you are, but you've got life all wrong. Now, you have two choices. You can leave Abby, your friends and your job and live your life knowing you ran away from a life with the woman you love. Or you can go back now and live a great life. You need to get your priorities straight, Carter. Be a boyfriend to your girlfriend and a father to your kid. Why are you running away like a low- life pathetic little boy?" "Everything will have to change." "So damn what? Life changes, for god's sake face it. Life will change more for Abby, but if you leave her, you will have no-one to help you through when life changes again. I know I for one will stick by Abby. You're so pathetic." Pratt spat out, disgusted with his friend. Carter ran his hands through his hair again. Everything Pratt was saying was the truth, the plain obvious truth. This was not at all like him. What was he thinking? "I hate myself, Pratt. Where is Abby?" Pratt smiled. He got through to him. "Deb's place" "Ok, I just need to go somewhere first. Thanks for that, Pratt. I have no idea what I was doing. Is Abby really crying?" "Yeah" "Oh god, I am so horrible. I have to make this up to her."  
  
* * *  
  
'I am strong, even on my own, but from here I never want to part He's been there since the very start'  
  
"I can't do this alone, Deb." Abby admitted. "I thought I could, but I really don't know. Not if the baby is bi-polar." "Don't have an abortion, Abby." Jing-Mei told her. "They're not good for you. Sometimes they can make you infertile." "Then adoption." "No," Jing-Mei answered, firmly. "If there's anything worse than killing your own baby, it's letting someone else have it. It was the worst day of my life. I almost wanted to kill it. I thought that if I couldn't have it, I didn't want anyone else to. I swear I'll be here for you if Carter doesn't come back." "When Carter doesn't come back" "If," Jing-Mei corrected. There was a knock at the door. "Please let that be him," Abby whispered. It was. He came in looking apologetic. He took one look at her red eyes and felt crushed. How could he be so cruel and stupid? "Hey, Carter." Abby greeted, weakly. Her mouth did that cute twitching thing again but this time it looked like it would either smile or break down into tears. He felt so bad. He loved her so much, what was he thinking? Jing-Mei and Pratt left the room quietly. "I'm sorry, Carter." Abby apologised. Why was she apologising? She had done nothing wrong and this only made Carter feel worse. "Oh God, Abby. It's not your fault." "I'm sorry, Carter. I could have an abortion or something." "Stop apologising, please just stop. I can't believe I was so stupid. I love you so much Abby. I'm not going to leave." He took her hand and looked into her tired and sad eyes. "Oh god, you're so beautiful. If our baby looks anything like you it'll be the cutest thing ever." Abby smiled, slightly. "What if it's bi-polar, Carter?" "It'll be ok." "It'll be my fault" "Don't worry. We will cope with it together. I'm so sorry Abby. Will you.?" He took a ring from his pocket. "I bought it with Pratt on the way back, it probably looked a bit weird, two guys, one wedding ring." He smiled. "But I don't want to marry Pratt, I want to marry you." "Oh my god, Carter.." Abby began. She felt like crying again, but didn't. "Will you please marry me? Even thought I've been a complete jerk?" "It's ok. It's all ok. Of course I will." He smiled at her and slipped the ring onto her finger. Then he kissed her. "I am so sorry, Abby." Her eyes shone. She didn't care who saw her cry anymore, she had kept it all inside for far too long. Now she finally had someone; someone who she wasn't scared to trust fully; someone who she wasn't too proud to rely on completely. She never thought she would find someone like that, but it's only when you lose someone you finally realise how much you need them. Everyone needs a jolt in life to remind them who they need. Everyone needs a wake up call to not let them forget that everything changes. 


End file.
